On Saturday I ate plateful of BBQ’ed sausages (snags) and drank some cold lagers (tinnies) with a lovely group of Australians. The sun was beaming down upon us and the atmosphere was relaxed, but fun. It was my Sydney Simulator – a test to see how things could be Down Under. And things were great.

After a while the topic of conversation changed to what it’s like to live in Sydney. And the evitable comparassions between Sydney and London. At first people confirmed what I had aleady read; how great a city Sydney is. But then they started to paint a less than perfect picture of Sydney. Apparently most Sydneyites can be very, very snobbish about anyone who wasn’t born there. Then there were the tales about the over zealous Police officers who would break an undercover operation to fine someone for cycling without a helmet or jaywalking. Finally there is the gradual implementation of what was described as the ‘no fun’ rules. Apparently one sports venue has banned the Mexican Wave. It could have been easy to be dissuaded from my imminent emigration, but none of these recent revelelations were going to be a problem for me. I don’t jaywalk or cycle without a helmet. And I certainly don’t Mexican Wave. However what I learnt next could be more problematic.

The Grand National was running that day, so a few people began telling their own horse betting related stories. One girl began to tell us a tale that when she and her brother were both at school, their father asked them to pick a horse. They both selected a horse with something like 300/1 bad odds. Later that day, the girl and her brother learnt that against all odds, the horse they picked had gone on to win. They both rushed home thinking that they were millionaires only to be told by their father that he didn’t place the bet. This was when I piped up and said “That’s what he said”. Nothing. A couple of polite smiles. I didn’t push for a further reaction. Then one minute later an Australian guy said “You’re Dad probably made the bet, kept all the money and never told you”. He got a huge laugh from everyone. He said virtually the same thing I had just said, but just spelling it out for everyone. It played on my mind for the rest of the day, so much so that I brought it up with The Girl on the return home. The only thing we could put it down to is some Australians don’t get subtly. I’ve already met quite a few who don’t get irony, sarcasm or self-deprecation. But subtlety? Looks like I might find it hard to make people laugh in Australia. They’re the only ways I know.